Tag Archives: funny

time stamp

i had to seize the opportunity to have a blog entry dated 12:12 pm on december 12th, 2012!

since i only thought, um, this morning that it would be super cool to do a post on this auspicious day, we’re going to go with a theme of random thoughts!

APPRECIATION – look at the beautiful weather i enjoyed on my drive in to TO this morning!

neat clouds, eh?!

neat clouds, eh?! and the temp is (slightly) above zero!

ANTICIPATION – while i am trying to live in the moment, each and every day, i am excited about: celebrating christmas; setting 2103 goals; deciding what i want to do with this blog in 2013; planning how i will spend my birthday day on january 9th (i will have the day off of work so the hours are mine to do with as i wish!). so many thoughts swirling through my brain!

EXPRESSION – this week, i cannot stop saying “gives me the pip” -> ie “x gives me the pip”  or “[she] gives me the pip;” more often than not, this phrase comes out in my morning chat with mom. that word PIP is so satisfying!

COMPRESSIONI WANT THESE SOCKS SO BAD!!!!!

(source)

unfortunately, apparently, pro compression is SOLD out, boo hoo.

CELEBRATION – check out this parallel parking job from this morning. please note that this was my first attempt:

textbook, i say!

textbook, i tell you!

CONSTRUCTION –  there may be a little building going on this eve…

one for little e, one for cutie c....aunti is the assistant!

one for little e, one for cutie c….aunti is the assistant!

ideally, i would have TWELVE *shun* items in this post…but then i run the risk of missing the 12:12 pm timeline!

hope you have a lucky 12-12-12!

a 31 pumpkin salute!

happy halloween evening!

thankfully, it is not frankenstorming here, and if they bundle up, the little goblins and goblettes should be able to enjoy their trick-or-treating (although the accompanying moms and dads may be hiding out under umbrellas due to the inclement weather)!

in honour of october 31st, i give to you our tribute to hallowe’en in the form of a 31 pumpkin feature presentation.

have a spooktacular night!

happy pumpkins!

“I’M at little pumpkin!” (sung to the tune of “i’m a little teapot!…)

ten little pumpkins, all in a row…

look at those teeth on these three!!

“bubba”

ghosts – or is that witches?! – of hallowe’en past (1975!)

a true example of “pumpkin carving!”

my mom used to put up cardboard decorations like this when we were little!

pumpkin-on-a-stick! times two!

today’s festive accessories: jack-o-lantern earrings along with my special spider bracelet!

seeking shelter from the storms!

boo!!

“scarecrow standing guard”

mr potato head! i mean, pumpkin-head!

and, finally, saving the best til last:

cutie c and little e with their pumpkin creations, organized with g’ma & g’pa last weekend (the girls created their own designs!)

did you dress up or wear orange today? i saw some adults in costumes when i was out and about -> love when people get into the hallowe’en spirit!

APRIL FOOL’S!!!

did i getcha this morning?!! haha! i do love to do april fool’s jokes (yes, when i was little, you can be sure that every year i tried the “there’s a spider on your back!!!” with my parents. that hilarity never gets old when you are <10 years old).

anyway, today marks the third annual april fool’s day blog post. here is the one from 2011 and here is the joke from 2010. good times.

~*~*~*~*~

today is a special day for another reason, too – it’s the brother‘s 39th birthday!

happy birthday, bro!

photo album photo: april, 1973

the brother is right up there among my most favourite people on this entire earth. even though i am older, i look up to him and respect him enormously. the brother is very funny (we share a similar sense of humour), kind, smart, athletic, humble…honestly, he is an all-around awesome person, and i am so fortunate to be his sister.

file photo - february 2012, @ a toronto COFFEE SHOP!

~*~*~*~*~

and now…introducing: an exciting april theme!

thanks, to stephanie, i found out that there is a blogging challenge available for this month! i’m going to give it a shot!

(source)

[sidenote: do you know how extremely proud i am that i managed to put add the a-z challenge widget to my sidebar??! i’m getting downright techie!]

the project is called the blogging from a-z challenge. you can read all about it and get more info by clicking that link ^^ (or click the widget!) but in a nutshell, participants will blog every day in april (except sundays, from here on out) and the only *rule* is that you have to use the letter of the alphabet of the day, somehow. my take on the project will be to use the daily letter of the alphabet as the first word in my blog title. tonight’s blog post worked out perfectly! [sidenote: i am participant #1485 on the official list!]

so, yes, this means a return to almost-daily blog posting for the month of april. and that is cool. i’ll avoid making any project proclamations; instead, i’ll simply say that 1) i am not going to stress about content or quality – some posts may be short ‘n’ snappy or photo-heavy. 2) i like the idea of having a finite amount of time – when the month of may arrives, i’ll return to my random posting schedule. 3) i am eager to see what blog post titles and ideas i can generate with each letter of the alphabet, and mesh that creativity with whatever is going on in life, at that time. this is going to be FUN!

so, tomorrow will be brought to you by the LETTER B!

did you play any april fool’s jokes today? hear of any good ones? i remember that back in grade four, the entire class hid in the coat closets before our teacher came into the room, in the morning. we thought we were SO FUNNY!!!!

…and the winner is!!!…

KAREN!!

(entry #1!)

karen commented:

What a great giveaway, Cathy! I would choose the men’s t-shirt about sleet, hail, rain etc. It would be for John. He’s the die-hard runner in our house. My new experience this year that I’m thankful for is learning lots of really good gluten-free baking recipes. I found out in January that I’m gluten-intolerant. I’m really happy to have found some replacements for my favourite recipes.

congratulations, karen!

this is the design karen is referencing

thanks to all of you who played along and entered the contest. i thoroughly enjoyed reading your new experiences. i wish i could host a contest every week – that was fun! now you just have to wait til blog post #1,000 for the next giveaway, haha! [should i decide to start blogging three entries per day, the time will really fly!]

i was going to chitchat a bit then list the contest winner, but knew no one would read my preamble if i did that. so here’s how the winning ballot was chosen…

last giveaway contest, i used the very popular online random number generator to pick the number. but, where’s the fun in that?! i much prefer stephanie’s method!

early saturday eve, i excitedly scooted over to mom and dad’s with the “ballot box” in hand:

my cherished sushi hat

i had prepared the ballots at home:

i cut up ORANGE paper (of course)!...

...and wrote down each entrant's name and comment number!

i wanted mom and dad to serve as witnesses while i made the draw. there are not two more honest people on the face of this earth, so you can rest assured knowing that there was no cheating going on (not that i am not honest and trustworthy, too!).

my assistants and witnesses!

dad wanted to make sure the papers were well mixed:

concentrating...

then it was time for the draw!

i wanted to do the actual picking!

...and the winner is!...

thanks again, everyone! happy sunday!

~*~*~*~*~

november thankfulness:

(for saturday november 12): yesterday i was thankful for having mom and dad live in the building next door! so convenient to just slip over for fun things like…picking contest winners! and meeting for coffee breaks! but never any drop-by’s – we don’t believe in that!

no one wants to think on a friday

happy friday, friends!

any fun weekend plans in the works? can we score the same fab weather as last weekend? (that’s likely wishful thinking).

bff debbie shared this “summary of life” with me earlier this week. i chuckled. i nodded. i am thinking you will, too.

Summary of Life

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8. You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandma’s lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don’t hurt.
3) Families are like fudge…mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.
4) You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It’s frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions…
6) Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . . Not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . Having friends.
At age 17 success is . . Having a driver’s license.
At age 35 success is . . . ..having money.
At age 50 success is . . . Having money.
At age 70 success is . . . Having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . … . Having friends.
At age 80 success is . . .. Not piddling in your pants.

~Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way. BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.~

you get what you pay for

last fall when i was still aunti-nannying cutie c, we would often find ourselves at the local loblaws for our afternoon walk/outing. the brother and sil ana’s loblaws is neat – inside the grocery store, there is a dry cleaners, a bulk barn, a canada post…and a huge dollar store:

you name it, it's in here...and only a dollar (or more!)!

so, one day last year, cutie c and i popped in – i bet we were in search of window decals for either thanksgiving or hallowe’en – and my eye spied a display of leggings. they were awesome! they looked like distressed jeans, but were just tights. since tights are my #1 choice for covering my lower body, i had to get a pair. and for $7.99, i was super pleased with my deal. [*great* – now, not only am a walmart shopper, but i get clothes at the dollar store! :S]

the "jeans"

i stowed the tights away in the closet and kind of forgot about them. i didn’t wear them all last winter because they’d not be warm enough. i didn’t wear them all summer because i live in shorts while i can.

sunday, i finally thought to pull them out and wear them to work. wow! i was super impressed – the leggings were incredibly comfy – and quite stylin’! they drew compliments, believe it or not. i just loved how great they felt – tights are perfect for the store because i’m alternately squatting, stretching, walking around…and i wasn’t constricted at all in my fake jeans.

monday, i wore them again, i was so in love. i was at theOTHERstore when at some point (a washroom break?) i noticed something felt off right on the bum in the back centre of the “jeans”…

look at that white line there...

oh no!!! there was a run originating in the crotch and quickly heading north! how embarrassing. for the rest of the evening, i tried to keep my butt to the counter and my face to the customers and hoped the whole backside would not disintegrate before i got home.

drat my luck – second wear, and the fab tights were now history. i felt quite forlorn.

but then i had an idea! i’d simply check back at the dollar store on aunti day, and see if they still carried the fake jeans!

wednesday, i couldn’t get over to loblaws fast enough.

wayyyy back in the corner, i spied some leggings…

i couldn't make this up if i tried

uh, no. even i draw the line at wearing a print of what appears to be russian porn stars.

and then….there! one lonely pair of fake jean leggings – it was meant to be! the price was now $9.99…yes, i decided to try again.

this pair is slightly different...

i confess that my purchase is a bit…jersey shore. for example…

there is indeed a sequined butterfly on the upper left thigh...

…and i now have a code name at the ready! [or an alias, should i decide to de-lurk on GOMI]:

yes, i am now a diva angel

i’m terribly excited to wear these to work today! i’ve got an 8.5 hour shift at theOTHERstore, so if i spring a leak develop a run, it’s gonna be a long night…fingers crossed!

it’s friday! what are your plans for today? oktoberfest begins in kitchener-waterloo today – it’s the biggest one in north america! i do not “do” oktoberfest!

DATE squares

mmmm, date squares!!

of primary significance in this recipe is the DATE.

this recipe comes from mom’s treasure trove. i’ve sampled a lot of date squares: from starbucks, café 1842 at the huether, coffee culture, a gluten-free variety from a health food store…none of the recipes match this one. i think the key *secret ingredient* is the orange juice.[date squares can be a little dry…this one is not, at all].

enjoy! and thanks, mom, for sharing!

Date Squares
(9” square pan)
Filling
2 cups pitted dates, chopped
1/2 cup white sugar
3/4 cup water
1/4 cup orange juice
grated rind of one orange

Base and Topping
1 cup whole wheat flour
1 3/4 cups rolled oats (I use large flake oatmeal.)
1/4 cup wheat germ
1 cup brown sugar
1 tsp baking soda
1/8 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup butter or margarine
To make filling, combine dates, sugar, water, orange juice, orange rind in a small saucepan.  Cook over low heat for 10 – 15 minutes or until thick and smooth.  Stir mixture frequently.
To make base and topping, combine flour, oats, wheat germ, brown sugar, baking soda, salt.  Stir well.  Cut in butter or margarine until mixture is crumbly.  Pat half this mixture into a lightly greased 9” pan.
Spread the date filling over the base.  Sprinkle remaining crumb mixture over the top.  Press down lightly.
Bake 350F for 25-30 minutes.  Cut into squares when cool.

 

i’ve got a package for you

well, no, actually i don’t – sorry! i’m the one who received a surprise in the mail. i just muchly love that “package” line from the movie legally blonde (classically wonderful movie, btw, if you’ve never seen it).

so what arrived via canada post??

none other than…

just as depicted on the cereal box!

my cheerios beach towel!

wow, my shorter term memory must be going…i had completely forgotten about how i had ordered free towels back on august 11th, thanks to the cereal box giveaway offer.

the towel is super cute. unfortunately, it’s also super cheap and thin … not the highest of quality (not that i was expecting a brian gluckstein-quality plushness when you receive something like this, for free).

i ordered three towels, total, so the other two should be on their way! i’ll show “the collection” once my set is complete!

~*~*~*~*~

third time’s the charm

i realized last friday that there was only one week left in september.

and dad and i had not yet enjoyed our outing of the month.

then i looked at my calendar, and thought about dad’s schedule.

ugh-oh. the pickings were looking incredibly slim for how we were going to fit in a get-together.

dad’s idea for september had been to go for lunch to zoup. this soup-sandwich-salad-neat-o restaurant is right across from us, and i haven’t been there yet, either (dad has, once). i was thumbs up on that plan…until i realized there were zero lunch slots available to us between now and september 30th.

my suggestion was to go to a movie together. that would be a new experience as i have never gone to a movie with just dad. now, the kink in that plan was that the only movie i really want to see that is playing right now is…

(source)

i just couldn’t bring myself to inflict this film on poor dad – plus, he’s not a sjp fan (i am!). moneyball, the new release starring brad pitt, would be more dad’s style…but, i am not crazy about dear brad, and the movie is 2 hours 15 minutes!

movie problem solved when we couldn’t come up with a suitable evening for both of us.

which brings us to option #3 –  a sunday afternoon break at starbucks. wouldn’t you know, we got there and all tables were full! so we hopped across jaywalked across king street to the gelato place.

official portrait for the september outing

mom!

yes, we invited mom to join us – the vibe was just right. we all had a wonderful visit – even though we are next-door neighbours (condos in side-by-side buildings) it had been two weeks since we had all seen each other!

dad, i think we need to plan october NOW!

~*~*~*~*~

whose line is it anyway?

[tangent: contrary to legally blond, i do not care for drew carey nor the game show “whose line…” and one of my fave game shows ever, the price is right, is simply unwatchable with mr carey as host. bob barker -> irreplaceable].

anyway, on friday, janetha blogged a funny post based on an email her mom had forwarded on to her. j has no idea as to the origins of the “adult truths” listed in the email; therefore, i have no clue either as to who to credit, obviously! so, just read and laugh – here are my favourite ten:

1. nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

2. mapquest really needs to start their directions on #5. i’m pretty sure i know how to get out of my neighbourhood.

3. bad decisions make good stories.

4. i keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so i know not to answer when they call.

5. how many times is it appropriate to say “what?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

6. i love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. stay strong, brothers and sisters!

7. shirts get dirty. underwear gets dirty. pants? pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever…

8. there is a great need for a sarcasm font.

9. you never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to be productive for the rest of the day.

10. the first testicular guard, the “cup,” was used in hocky in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. that means it took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

received anything fun in the mail lately? my mail is so boring! i don’t even have magazine subscriptions anymore!

sarah jessica parker: like or unlike? me = a big fan. ever since her “square pegs” tv show in the 80’s. i would kill for her hair!

which truth is your favourite? me = #5 -> i’ll say “pardon” two times, then i’m out.

I Couldn’t Resist

I like a good joke. My definition of “good” is a funny that makes me laugh, no one gets hurt (physically or emotionally), the joke isn’t overplayed, and everyone is still friends in the end.

My Mom is a retired kindergarten teacher. Her students used to be so thoughtful when giving her Christmas and End-of-the-Year presents. It’s the sentiment that counts, and Mom always appreciated each and every acknowledgement from the families.

One year, a little darling sweetly profferred this gift:

a photo frame unlike any other

Yes, that is a Christmas bag, underneath. See, thanks to this…item, mom and I began a back-and-forth running gag: you never knew when you would find this photo tchotchke in your possession. I’d open up a birthday gift…and find my Gift Card inserted into the photo slot. Mom would open up her teatowel drawer…and find the “two hearts” tucked under a dishcloth. There was no rhyme nor reason to our timeframe: three days or three months could go by before  – pop! – there would be that dang photo frame back in your possession.

As you can see, I was the last lucky recipient…and it’s been a while since I regifted.

Mom celebrated her birthday yesterday! “29” once again! :)

I had three gifts for her:

#1 (balloon wrap) and #2 (green and white wrap)

#3 wrapped in renoir

[Sidenote: the joke’s on me with that Renoir wrap on Gift #3: I bought it last summer in St Petersburg, Florida at Haslam’s Book Store, knowing that only Mom would appreciate the exorbitant price the artistry. When I opened the package this week….I saw that bosom-y, unclothed women were featured (misleading product! there are no bare-necked females on that coverlet!!!)…ok, maybe I should have gone with the Van Gogh paper!]

Anyway, back to the story…we gathered yesterday aft so Mom could open her birthday presents.

First up: Gift #1 in the balloon paper:

jane brody's cook book!

mom loves cook books! good choice, right?!

JOKE!!!! I picked up that book at the store for …$1.85!!!

i tucked the receipt inside the cover so mom could see the value of her gift!

[The Jane Brody cookbook IS actually a very good cookbook! I have the same one that I got before 3rd year university; however, it’s copyrighted from 1985 so it’s not exactly *new,* and not exactly Mom’s “style].

mom appreciated the joke. what a good sport!

Next up: Gift #2, wrapped in green and white:

a run for the cure mini tote bag!!!!

isn't that special.

JOKE!!!!! That’s not Mom’s real gift, either!

and again, we enjoy a good laugh

mom with her birthday "blagues," as the french would say...

Time for Mom’s real present (no one likes a joke that overextends its welcome):

red keds!

I thought Mom would enjoy a kicky pair of sneaks for her jaunts around Uptown this summer. Red seemed right for Mom.

a perfect fit (we wear the same size, so i was pretty confident picking out these shoes)

I’m so glad we enjoy a similar sense of humour, Mom! Thanks for being a good sport on your birthday!

official birthday portrait

My day was made when I got to sniff these beautiful blossoms. Joanne‘s parents dropped them off to Mom yesterday!

the scent of lily of the valley is my favourite flower, ever. we had beds of these at my childhood home and at the house we owned before the condo casa

a bounty of lilacs - which also smell so heavenly

So, Mom, now that I have found where I stashed this…

…you just better watch out!

Any gifts that you’ve ever received that have been a little…*not your style?*

Any running gags that you’ve ever participated in?

◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊

So far I have resisted…

this window display caught my eye a few days ago...

…these American Apparel neon nail polishes. They’re $7.50 each…not sure how long I can hold off on treating myself to a flashy hue; just a little pick-me-up for all this dreary rain this month???? I should pick several one up, right??? right??! :)

Magic 8 Ball Cookies

In her Monday eve blog post, Monica provided a Magic 8 Ball link.

Oh my gosh. Talk about too much fun. I immediately asked this psychic helper online Magic 8 Ball a question about work. It got the question right. That’s it! I’m a believer! :)

Yesterday, I was overcome with the urge to make cookies. Since this desire strikes intermittently at best, I had to roll with it. Recipe #8 of the Unofficial 1970 Kiki Project, coming right up!

In order to up the baking fun-factor (cuz we all know I need all the encouragement I can get, in the kitchen) I decided to consult the Magic 8 Ball and let it pick the type of chocolate chip cookie to be made.

Here’s the Q & A that went down:

Me: Should I make a chocolate chip cookie recipe found on the internet?

M8B:

"no way!"

[Well, that was certainly a clear and definite answer!]

Me: Should I make a chocolate chip cookie recipe from my recipe collection, then?

M8B:

"ask again later"

[Since “later” is pretty open to interpretation, I waited 15 seconds, and asked again!]

Me: Should I make a chocolate chip cookie recipe from a recipe book that I own? [I rephrased just to humour M8B, who so far seems to be feeling pretty cranky today].

M8B:

"definitely"

[Now we’re getting somewhere!]

Me: Should I use a peanut butter cookie recipe as a base?

M8B:

"definitely"

[Okey-dokey, M8B!].

One final question…

Me: Can I use the two eggs I have that are slightly past the best-before date?

M8B:

"absolutely!"

[OK, I’m sorry but this whole thing completely cracks me up. Talk about making my day].

Onto the recipe!

I chose the Peanut Butter Chocolate Cookies recipe found in my “Come Taste the Pride” cookbook.

yes, from the 1995 international plowing match!

As I’ve said on many an occasion, you cannot beat community fundraiser cookbooks for solid, reliable recipes.

I think you can see this recipe clearly enough that I don’t need to retype it!

let me know if you need clarification

I swapped in chocolate chips for peanut butter chips, and used butter (not margarine) – everything else stayed the same.

[Ha ha, guess what?! Half way through the mixing of ingredients, I realized this recipe does not contain peanut butter! So I just added in 1/2 c all-natural peanut butter and another 1/2 cup flour to balance off the added “butter.” Let’s see what happens…I daren’t defy the M8B’s choices!]

ah! that's what we like to see! poofy pillow cookies, fresh outta the oven!

nice! i'm pleased!

Then I couldn’t resist; I had to ask the M8B one last question:

Me: M8B, are these cookies going to taste good?

M8B:

"definitely"

[Oh, man, I gotta cut this out. I’m becoming addicted!].

Have you ever consulted a Magic 8 Ball? I used to have a real one, years ago, that I kept on my desk…no idea what happened to it. I totally think it’s OK to *play* with asking the Magic 8 Ball questions for fun. I would be horrified to learn that someone used it in regards to a Major Life Decision!

◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊

Are you feeling lucky? [Better just ask the Magic 8 Ball!]. My local blogger buddy Angela (with whom I visited thrive juice bar, earlier this month) is hosting a Giveaway Contest! Click here to see the details and to enter!

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