She’s Just Not That Into Me

After work on Tuesday, VFBF Joanne and I met up at Coffee Culture. Wow – three visits in three months. When we decide to renew our friendship, we mean business. As always, our time together was unequivocally delightful. I Joanne!

hey sister, soul sister...

Speaking of girlfriends, I have…this friend. Let’s call her Amy.* Amy came to me the other day with a dilemma. She wants to break up with her gal pal…Hilary.* Amy and Hilary have been seeing each other socially for about six months. All was great at the beginning of their friendship: they chatted non-stop on their outings, they discovered many common interests, all was fine and dandy.

According to Amy, things began to sour after the third or fourth *date.” Amy totally got the vibe that Hilary was on edge; she didn’t really seem to be enjoying their gallery outing that eve. Then the length of time between their get-togethers started to lengthen.

A month or so ago, Amy decided to stop contacting Hilary. It was just too obvious that Hilary was seeing their friendship as an obligation, not as a joy. Their last face-to-face social, a wine-tasting event, was the last straw – Amy could totally tell that Hilary was not happy being out. She was negative, snippy, and patronizing. Amy came home feeling perturbed, but also fed up. She’s decided to decline any future invitations from Hilary, should any be issued (Amy believes that Hilary will not be proposing any more *dates,* though).

So, Amy wanted my advice on how to break up with Hilary. That’s a tough one, eh? I suggested she just come up with excuses, say she’s busy etc etc – but that’s because I am a confrontation-avoider. I guess I would just hope that Hilary stops asking after a few negative responses.

How would you deal with this situation? Have you ever been in Amy’s shoes? I don’t think the answer is for Amy to say outright, “I don’t wish to see you any more, Hilary. You just aren’t fun and you make me feel tense.” But I’m wondering if there are other options…

*names have been changed to protect the identities of the persons involved.

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May Grocery Challenge- The End is Near!

My goal of looking for sales/coupons/deals continues. Just to share two “yeSSS!” moments…

$0.75 savings on a product i would buy anyway!

Before May: I purchased individual containers of cottage cheese.

The Month of May: I switched to bigger containers, and just dollop out the same amount as the individual sizes. I save $ and save extra packaging from the recycling bin!

I think I’ll be utilizing more of these coupons!

almond milk - my favourite!

Healthy Foods and More has Almond Breeze on sale from $2.89 to $1.99! While skids last. I’ll def be back for more. Stash much?!

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Recommended Reads from The Globe and Mail:

From culinary catastrophe to taste sensation [this was the headline in the newspaper; the online title is “University revolutionizes Winnipeg’s food scene”] – – > Gina, this article is for you!

The O Effect: How Oprah Conquered the World [I want to talk more about Oprah at another time]

The missing girls of India [online title: “With greater education and wealth come greater risks for India’s unborn females” – and to think we are in 2011…]

Americans open wallets, Canadians tighten belts [perfect timing with the May Grocery Challenge]

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  • Tiff  On May 26, 2011 at 11:07 am

    Yikes. Good luck with that. I’m not good on dealing with girl issues! ha

    • 1970kikiproject  On May 26, 2011 at 11:18 am

      thanks, tiff! yea, what’s *worse:* women’s relationships, men’s or women+men!?!

  • Johanna B  On May 26, 2011 at 10:59 am

    Are the women lovers? None of my business I know but otherwise it seems like a lot of to do about nothing. No one is obligated to keep seeing another person if that relationship is unsatisfying. Ya know? Awkward, yes? Does she have caller-ID? Don’t answer the phone and don’t initiate any contact. Enough ranting for this Thursday. BTW – personally relationships make me crazy.

    • 1970kikiproject  On May 26, 2011 at 11:21 am

      it’s strictly a friend relationship, johanna! good point re feeling “obligated” – – > yup, not a good reason to continue a friendship and a sure sign that eventually it will wane. relationship woes – yup, they get more complex than need be, from time to time…

    • Johanna B  On May 26, 2011 at 11:22 am

      Now I’m feeling bad for commenting the way I did. I didn’t want to come off as offensive. Sorry. But I’m not kidding when I say relationship stuff makes me nuts!!!

  • Zo  On May 26, 2011 at 10:19 am

    Sounds to me like Amy doesn’t really even have to break sounds like if she stops trying to contact Hilary, Hilary isn’t going to get in touch with her.

    But, I suppose on the benefit of the doubt, maybe Amy should mention that Hilary didn’t seem to be happy to be out the last few times and whether everything is okay (eg, is there something going on in other parts of her life that’s affecting her behavior)?

    • 1970kikiproject  On May 26, 2011 at 10:21 am

      thank you for the helpful feedback, zo! i think you’re right in the first sentence. and yes – very intuitive thinking in your second suggestion…you could be on to something…

  • Holly  On May 26, 2011 at 9:16 am

    Hurray for coupons!!!

    Cathy I’m like you — I avoid confrontation. I’ve never had to tell a friend that I don’t want to spend time with them, but by avoiding them they got the message. I don’t think that is the best way (since the person might not get the message and because I feel kind of mean by doing that). Sorry this was probably no help!

    • 1970kikiproject  On May 26, 2011 at 9:18 am

      it’s even just helpful to hear “i’d do what you do!” – thanks for sharing, holly! my next step is to start searching for coupons online – an untapped resource!

  • Gina Unger  On May 26, 2011 at 8:32 am

    Every time I see Joanne’s face I just want to say “Hi!” – brings back memories of seeing her as a child! As for the friend situation… tough one! I’ve let some friends go as our interests/lifestyles changed, but in the non-confrontational way (i.e. no discussion).
    Thanks for the read on U of Wpg’s food scene! I rely on others to tell me what’s going on in my own city sometimes! 🙂

    • 1970kikiproject  On May 26, 2011 at 8:39 am

      i thought that u of wpg article was really intesting from foodie/health, business and canadian perspectives. and thanks for chiming in on the friend situation – not our situation, at least! 🙂

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