Why I Would Make a Very Bad Chef

They’re down to FIVE chefs on Top Chef Canada!

(source)

Last weekend, I watched three episodes, then I watched the latest one on Wednesday eve (yes, while everyone else was glued to Game #7 of the Stanley Cup) so now I’m all caught up again.

My picks, Rob and Dale, are among those final five contestants! Thank you, my genius ESP-ability! [We all picked our top two picks during the very first episode].

However, I have a bone to pick with the last episode I watched: no way you should win the Elimination Challenge if you use a store-bought pie crust. I can’t state that emphatically enough.

(source)

I’m excited because I saw an ad on the Foodnetwork channel that Top Chef: Just Desserts starts July 11 – I’ll be all eyes!

As much as I adore watching Top Chef, I fully admit that I would make a very bad Top Chef. Here’s why:

I do not enjoy cooking. Um, that’s a pretty necessary first step. A passion for the kitchen is a strong pre-requisite for a chef. I would much rather release my creative juices through blog writing, knitting, organizing surprise gift ideas, etc. I think nothing of spending almost a year on knitting a blanket…

still working on the lacy blanket which i started in july 2010...

…yet two hours spent concocting a lasagna or asselbing jambalaya is “time wasted” and is enough to send me right ’round the bend.

I do not have an appreciation for fine cuisine. I like raw foods, five ingredient dishes, all-natural and unadulterated fare.

I do not work well under pressure. I like to be organized, and do not appreciate last-minute surprises. So, having orders flying at me rapid-fire, and having the veggies blanche for a few seconds too long would do me in. How well do you think this would work: [on the phone] – “You want a reservation for tonight, sir? No problem. Just tell me what you will be ordering. NOW.” Haha!

I have an unsophisticated palate: I do not enjoy spicy, salty, or hot (temperature) foods.

I am not good at knowing what goes with what. Salt + pepper, I get. But as for matching up basil + x, paprika + y, or knowing if coconut goes better with bananas or peaches (?) – that I do not know.

And perhaps the most key point of all:

I do not like to be told what to do. From what I understand, a professional kitchen works very much on a hierarchical system: Chef gives the orders, and underlings follow through. My first sentence as a baby explains all: “My By Self.” In a professional kitchen, I’d get hot under the collar very quickly.

Monday night = the next Top Chef episode…can’t wait!

◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊

FINISHED in 50% of ALLOTTED TIME!

Mom’s sweater is done!

Remember when I boasted here that I would finish mom’s wool sweater remake easily this month? Luckily, my pomposity was not in vain. I put the finishing touches on mom’s sweater on Wednesday, June 15th. I only needed half a month! Bah-ha-ha!

oooo, i bet mom can't wait to wear her wool sweater...esp since it's 30 degrees out this week!

I couldn’t resist attaching this gift card:

remember this is a remake for the same sweater that suffered a tumble in the dryer

Enjoy, Mom! This is a fun pattern, so I actually won’t mind if another mishap befalls “Marnie” Sweater #2!

Now I’ve moved on to silk + a blanket pattern that SIL Ana is knitting from right now, too:

i'm excited to work with 100% silk!

Scale of 1-10: how much would you enjoy being a chef? I’ll give myself a two: I would enjoy placing toppings onto pizzas, I think.

Have you ever ruined an item of clothing? Me – not in the wash, only by splooching food down the front of a shirt or sweatshirt and leaving a permanent stain! [I will still wear the item, though – mostly around the home, but maybe out in public, if it’s a real comfy favourite!]

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Comments

  • Gina Unger  On June 18, 2011 at 4:58 pm

    Well, you know the first answer for me… I LOVE COOKING/BAKING/anything in the kitchen! Give me a new recipe and I’m envisioning the end product in my dreams at night. I’ve heard others say, too, that it is time wasted, but not for me. I don’t mind spending an inordinate amount of time making a meal, presenting it so it looks the most beautiful, and then seeing it eaten up in a fraction of that time. Funny how that is. 🙂

  • Lisa  On June 17, 2011 at 12:54 pm

    Wow—great job on the sweater!
    I could nevvvvver be a chef—the only reason I ever cook is because I don’t have anyone to do it for me, and I really love to eat. I also love the health-aspect of food, so I often have to prepare it myself in order for it to meet my standards. However, most of the time when I’ve spent time, money (and possibly blood, sweat, and tears) on a dish or meal…I’m annoyed (1) because I have to clean up and (2) because it really wasn’t worth it!

    Hope our sunshine is up your way too!

  • Johanna B  On June 17, 2011 at 9:05 am

    I love to cook – for me, my family, and friends. I’m trying to develop an adventurous palate but am not having much luck in that department. It takes me awhile to warm up to new foods. I do love reading about cooking and I collect cookbooks. I wouldn’t want to be a chef . There’s just too much pressure in a restaurant kitchen.

    Hope your mom enjoys the sweater. Winter will be here soon enough I imagine.

  • Holly @ The Runny Egg  On June 17, 2011 at 7:38 am

    Good job getting the sweater finished!

    I have ruined so many clothes — usually by putting sweaters and such in the dryer that then shrink so much they would fit barbie dolls! It is so frustrating.

    I would also be horrible at Top Chef. I need time to think things through.

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