Ten Keys

On June 27th, 1964, Dad and Mom got married!

saturday, june 27th, 1964, after the signing of the register

On June 27th, 1964

  • I Get Around” by the Beach Boys was the #2 song on the Music Chart (source)
  • The New York Yankees beat the Detroit Tigers by a score of 5-4 at Yankee Stadium (source)
  • Fashionable women were wearing:

(source)

  • and gas cost about $0.27 a gallon! (source)

That was a long time ago!

After 47 years together, I figure Mom and Dad have learned a thing or two about marriage. I asked them if they could please share tidbits of wisdom that they have gleaned from so many years of being together.

official anniversary portrait, sunday june 26th, 2011

Let’s see what they have to say…

Mom‘s Five Keys to a Successful Marriage:

1. Laugh together, and roll your eyeballs or smirk or wink or nod, whatever connects you in the moment.

2. Remember in a special way those dates important to your relationship – anniversary, birthdays, Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Christmas.

3. Accept each age and each stage, which do change over the years – we were DINKs for 6 years, then came the really busy era of young children, then the time of raising kids and both working away from home, then Cathy and Chris’ teen years, then the Empty Nest, then retirement.  Each age and each stage does have rewards and challenges.

christmas, 1974

4. Enjoy your roles in your family and within extended family.

5. Hold hands when you cross the street as a symbol of “We are into this, together, forever.”

Dad‘s Five Keys to a Successful Marriage:

1.  Forgive and forget.  There are always differences of opinion and sometimes hurtful things are said on the spur of the moment.  It helps to be able to forgive and forget when you feel slighted.
2.  Spend a lot of time together, and share not only the interests you have in common but also take time on your spouse’s interests.  (i.e.  M loves to shop.)
3.  Good food….it never hurts to have a wife that can really cook good food. [see below…]
4.  Have a sense of humour….laugh at mistakes, share funny incidents, and be willing to admit when you have been foolish.
5.  Be an understanding listener.  It always feels good when you can share disappointments, troubles and failures with an understanding/compassionate mate.
~*~*~*~*~
Thanks, Mom and Dad, for sharing your insights.
Happy Anniversary to you both – enjoy your special day!
◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊

Mom Got the Hint

Was it thanks to the blog post? Was it because of Dad’s whining and begging woebegone expression and cajoling requests? Can we thank Valumart for stocking gorgeously fresh local berries? Whatever the reason, we joyfully gathered together yesterday for…

mom's homemade strawberry pie - the first of the season!

There was one tshirt and one tshirt only for me to wear for the occasion:

love the slogan, love the graphics, love the tie dye

is your mouth watering yet?!

I don’t mean to lord it over The Brother and SIL Ana you, but man was this scrumptious!

one pie, four people, sixteen minutes. true story.

Dad’s already pleading asking for a repeat performance asap!

◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊

Have you feasted on strawberries yet this year? Valumart was sold out by yesterday afternoon – local berries are a hot commodity!

Please contribute one of your own keys to a happy relationship – whether you’re married or not! My key would be this: you each have your own particular strengths. Use whatever you are good at individually for the betterment of your partnership.
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Comments

  • Dorry  On June 27, 2011 at 10:59 pm

    That pie looks amazing! I love the advice from your parents. I’m definitely learning that laughter is crucial as is acceptance. We can’t expect the other person to change or be different. It’s important to learn and grow together, though!

    • 1970kikiproject  On June 28, 2011 at 5:30 am

      that’s right, dorry. and the only person we can ask to change, is ourselves. i’m happy that you and billy do a lot of laughing together, by the looks of your photos!

  • Johanna  On June 27, 2011 at 9:44 pm

    Happy Anniversary to those who I will always consider my other mom and dad. I wish you so many more.

  • strivingcynic  On June 27, 2011 at 3:06 pm

    Funny, since I’m still surprised I’m in a relationship. I’d say, know who you are, and don’t expect the other person to fill in gaps for you. I think my guy and I meeting at “older” ages (late 30s for me, early 50s for him) in part meant that we’d already established ourselves and felt complemented by each other because we knew who we were. If that makes any sense.
    The pie…my mouth started watering.

    • 1970kikiproject  On June 27, 2011 at 4:18 pm

      “know who you are, and don’t expect the other person to fill in gaps for you” – > i love this, zo. and yes, i understand complementing each other vs looking to another person to fill a need. i appreciate learning of the age gap between you and mr sc – thanks for sharing.

      • strivingcynic  On June 27, 2011 at 4:40 pm

        I always joke about how I had a crush on Simon le Bon when I was 12 and slb was 25..and at that point…ick! 13 years was insurmountable.So I find it funny that mr. sc is actually a few months older than Simon

  • Johanna B  On June 27, 2011 at 1:26 pm

    Congratulations to your parents.

    I miss reading your posts on the weekend when I’m away from the computer. But then there’s the bright side – on Monday I get to read three.

  • Gina Unger  On June 27, 2011 at 10:53 am

    Happy Anniversary, Marnie & Erv! What a lot of wonderful things on that list to remember and/or learn to do! So important. You are wise! I can’t think of anything too profound at the moment except for “Keep pettiness out of a relationship. Always think in terms of the big picture (i.e. will this [thing that bugs me] truly matter in a week/month/year?) 🙂

    • 1970kikiproject  On June 27, 2011 at 2:12 pm

      great advice, gina! thank you for weighing in with your thoughts. i think the phrase “pick your battles” would also fit!

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